Be You! Don't ever lose yourself!!!
"It's been almost a year since he left. In just a few days it will be a year. I did something today that feels so surreal, so unbelievable that honestly I feel almost crazy right now... Do you want to know what I did??
I changed my name today on my personal Facebook back to my maiden name, and it makes me feel so happy. I have utmost respect for people who are married, but marriage just wasn't for me. His name never really stuck with me although I really liked it because it was so easy to say. Now, I am back with the name that I can guarantee you no one in America can say correctly. How do I know? I went to college here. In my 3,5 years college career only one professor said it right. Everyone else only said a few first letters of it. You may ask what is the name? Unless someone who knows me on Facebook tells you, I don't want to say it because I want to be known as Marina Amdream. You know that:)
Back to today. I feel so amazing, calm and free. Now I can be me again without any rules of marriage like: you have to discuss everything major you want to do with your partner (what if he doesn't support it. Happened to me a lot in my marriage), you have to cook, clean, spend time together, etc. I never liked any of it. When I am at home I like to grab something easy or to go, cleaning is not my best friend (I like to ask for help to do that) and I like to be alone with my thoughts writing or creating. I guess you can say: "I am my own best friend.."
I lost myself in the marriage: I had to sacrifice a lot of what I liked doing before I got married. Marriage is a huge commitment and if you can do that, more power to you! I applaud you! Me on the other hand: I prefer to be alone after work and, occasionally, of course, I visit with friends. I am happy that way:)
Today by changing my name I feel like I got my identity back! I am me again. It makes me so happy. Can't you tell I am happy because I repeat myself again and again? I love it. I can't wait to see what I can do next with my real name, not his name, I, frankly, never learned to deeply care about. I like to be an independent strong woman helping others and doing anything I want. And this is exactly what I am doing now. I am so so happy!! Finally😀
The point of me sharing my story with you is that you should never lose your identity!! Think twice before you change your last name as well. It can really mess you up in the head if you are not careful. It really did me. Protect your identity!! Be you! Love you for who you are and never lose yourself to please someone else because once you do lose yourself it can take years for you to get back to normal. The worst case is you may never find yourself again. And we don't ever want that to happen. I would not wish that on an enemy.
I hope my words helped you today to look at yourself very carefully in the mirror and say: "Am I still the same person I was years ago or did I lose all my best qualities for a different life I don't belong in?" If the answer is the first part of the question - I am so happy for you. Stay as you are!! Do embrace positive change though, but do stay the same person you have always been. If the answer is former, please don't do it!! Don't change for anybody or anything because you may regret it later with tears. I did. Be you! Love all of you and only then you will be the happiest you can possibly be in this life. Be you!" Love, Marina Amdream