"My whole life I have struggled with weight. The best I ever looked was when I had model measurements 34x24x34. It was also the worst I ever felt... When I had those measurements I struggled with food disorders. I can't believe I said it publicly to you right now to finally come out and bring awareness to this taboo issue. Although, if you have come to my events you already know. You also know how passionate I am about this subject because I am survivor: I almost died in my twenties from it. I am proud to say that I am 9 years food disorder free😊 Know that "at least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the U.S." (1,2). Also, "every 62 minutes at least one person dies as a direct result from an eating disorder"(3). Just these facts should help you realize how serious a food disorder can be. In the mean time no one talks about it because it's embarrassing. People will judge if you tell them you didn't go to the bathroom to use the restroom. You went there to throw up that cheesecake that may "add you a few ounces." To them I say: "Don't judge, help. You don't know why people do what they do. It maybe much deeper than wanting to be skinny." I am almost certain that there is at least one person in your circle that has struggled with an eating disorder in their lifetime. Again, help them: don't judge. How did I get better? God... Literally, just started reading the Bible. It's has been a very long process of the recovery with lots of hospitals and medical bills. I'll talk more in depth about it later to, hopefully, help somebody who goes through the same thing. Now, although I am still afraid of food and going back to my old ways every day, I found coping mechanisms that work for me like telling myself: "I love myself the way I am," "I am happy," "It's enough," etc. I am maybe "supersized" in my mind compared to size XS I used to be, but I am healthy, and it's all that matters to me. I do have a lot of health side effects after the eating disorders. So, please please seek help now!! It may seem "ok" to do it right now: in 10 years, etc. you may have cancer, difficulties to get pregnant, organs drop due to lack of fat tissue (please know that our bodies must have fat to keep our organs in place. Please know that!! I learned it the hard way.), bad teeth and breath, etc. Please call asap Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to seek help. Pray about it. Talk to family and friends. Like my good friend says: "It does get better." My message to you today: start loving yourself the way look. Yes, we look at beautiful glossy magazines to get inspired to look skinny, but those girls and boys have professional trainers and nutritionists working with them to help them look that way. I truly believe, not all of them struggle with food disorders. They just have very active lifestyles, eat healthy, work out regularly, keep learning and just try to be happy every day like all of us. If you are a man or a woman who struggles with food disorders: anorexia, bulimia or both, please know that you are not alone. There is hope. If I can get better, you can too!!! Let's talk about it. Don't keep it inside. Take care of yourself. Please do... Ask for help now😌" Marina Amdream