It's ok to be lonely; it's ok to be happy with yourself...
☕️ anyone??: "Today I want to talk about a subject of family - something I don't think I have ever learned. I grew up in a very violent environment, so any chance I could get to escape I did that. For me being without a family meant peace and quiet. When I got a chance to leave my country I did that because it was my way to be finally free from arguments and constant beatings. Something only a few people know: I have not talked to my brother for 8 years, and I have no desire to. The last time we talked he threw a chair at me at 11pm. That was the last straw to me to stop this awful domestic violence abuse that I used to experience over and over.
To this day I don't talk to my mother much because we don't see eye to eye very often. Both scorpios, both strong women, both always want to be right. So, I just don't talk to her much. It gives me peace. I hate arguing. My whole childhood consisted of every day yelling and hitting. I don't want it as an adult. So, I don't have it at last...
Sadly, because of my childhood family experience I have never learned to want it or build it. I just want to be alone with a partner if ever again. I don't like holidays or family gatherings because they remind me of constant loud disputes and domestic abuse I experienced when I was a child. It makes me happy to be alone after work even if the majority of people would consider me psycho for saying that. We all are a little "weird" in our own ways. Can't you tell??
Now as I am older I find satisfaction in work and friends. They give me the good family I have never had. You, guys, give me a good family I have never had. I thank you for it so much!!! You basically all I have. The next time you hear me saying "thank you," hopefully, after reading this post you'll understand how much I really mean it. Thank you!!
I want you to know that I am happy the way I am. I am not looking for your sympathy. I chose to not have an immediate family because I feel safe this way. Finally, no one screams at me, hits me and even worse tells me what to do. I have created this sanctuary in my own mind where I am not affected by outside forces. I am at peace with my choices and even my challenges that are just part of my life. We must always find a way that works for us most and makes us thrive. If we get to this good place, we must cherish it with all that we have because we never know how long it will last.
Be in the moment. Be unapologetically happy with what you do and who you choose to be around. And if your choice is to be alone like me, don't think that anything is wrong with you. If your choice to have 450 people family like my ex had I could not handle, then I celebrate you. You are fine just as you are! Love yourself, hug yourself, spend time with yourself, put yourself first and do what you love with passion. And only then you will be the happiest you can ever be. You may have to go through a lot of challenges before you get there, but you will. We all get there at some point. Trust God, yourself, whatever and everything will be ok. Can't wait to see you be ok. It's all I want for you and me. I just want us to be ok... Can we??"😌 Marina Amdream