TODAY IS WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY!!! I can't believe what happened on this day!!! Please read below☺️
"I have been looking for a perfect moment to tell you this and I could not have wished for a better one. 7 years ago I made my first real video to put on YouTube about my struggles in my home third world country Ukraine. It was like reading a book in the form of images. It was amazing!!! Before I posted I gave this video to watch to my ex-husband. Guess what he said?? "Don't post it!"
Of course, he said that. It was always about his career that could never be damaged with me being real. He was even always so afraid being with me in public that he would even say: "Don't talk!" Also, I believe, he simply never wanted me to outshine him. He was a star of an award winning show I was not starring at. Well, you can see why that didn't work out... You take me as I am or "bye bee. You'll regret for dumping for someone else later."
Unfortunately, there are so many jobs in our society that condemn you talking about poverty, food disorder, anger management issues, lack of discipline, etc. It's like people want to hire robots. Let me tell you, dear employers: "Robots don't exist. Humans are! Please understand, don't judge. Aren't you human too??"
Back to the video. I never posted it, and became this numb dumb girl who posted videos of flowers, food, road trips, etc. I became a useless vlogger of several years who never made it. There is nothing wrong with posting about flowers, food, etc. What's wrong with it is when you don't add any meaning to it. You must always have a meaning, intention and a goal. If you just want likes and fame without putting any thought to it, most likely it won't work. It didn't work for me...
After my ex left me, I was devastated for a long time. And then I just started to be real with you, guys in the form or writing, videos & events. After 7 years of being a dumb zombie where I could not say what I wanted or wear what I wanted because I was in a controlling marriage, I finally started to write and speak about what I love, what I know is right, about what can help people. It feels perfect and based on your 99% positive feedback (of course, there are haters) I am finally doing the right thing!! All I am doing is using God's given gifts and experiences of mine to help others. So far God is good!!!
Another reason I believe strongly that I am doing the right thing is that today one of my idols have likes my post!!!! (Hold on judging. Please read...) Even though I got "only" 3 likes (every like counts!! Thank you!) and "only" 181 people saw this post (everybody counts. Thank you!), my idol Juggling The Jenkins have liked the post!!! I can't believe this!!! She has over 3 millions followers, has a national best seller book, has toured the country with her programs and much more. And, most importantly, she is of the realest human beings I know, and I want to meet her one day so bad!!! Why?? Because I am recovering addict too!! And yes, no one calls a food disorder an addiction. Well, if you don't believe me that it is, I challenge you to eat and throw up for 21 times. It will become your "perfect" habit. And then you will perfectly agree with me that it is after all an addition so few people ever talk about! (Jk. Don't do it. Just believe me that it is an addiction. I gave a dramatic example challenge that should never done by anyone because it CAN kill you!! Food disorder almost killed me!!! I am better now:))
Anyway, Ms. Jenkins, thank you!!! You are so amazing, and you are truly an inspiration. I have watched all your videos (sorry, productive people), and I just love you!! Your like on my post means more to me than you can possibly imagine!! Thank you! It mean that I am not useless; I am not a terrible disgusting human being; I don't waste air; I don't do a disservice to the society; AND, most importantly, it means I don't need to kill myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Ms. Jenkins, you are doing what you are born to do!! Please don't stop!
I am crying and writing this. I hope this post will be an inspiration to you to do what you know in your gut is right. I hope, you know that what you have to say is important!!! Like Barack Obama said: "One voice can change a room, and if one voice can change a room, then it can change a city, and if it can change a city, it can change a state, and if it can change a state, it can change a nation, and if it can change a nation, it can change the world. Your voice can change the world."
Use your voice every day to change your city, state, nation and the world. Don't waste it. You have more power than you think. Let my life be a proof to that. I may not have changed the world yet, but I know I have changed at least one life. I have been told that. And that what keeps me going. Thank you again, Ms. Jenkins!!! Thank you, my friends!!! I am about to go get a tissue after writing this post. lol. Drop the mic..." Love and Peace, Marina Amdream. #WORLDMENTALHEALTHDAY