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It's ok to fail, but it's not ok to not get out of it


"Yesterday I had an event and it was so good. Then I came home and I was so sad till the time I went to bed. I was sad because I am still not on tour on a tour bus. (I am glad God is finally putting these thoughts in my mind! It's a good sign☺️). I was sad because I am still not traveling the world. I was sad because when I came to US I thought I was just going to be "flying" in a big city, and I ended up struggling to even make it in a small one. I was sad because the feeling I get at the event does not last when the event is over. I was sad because I want to have an event and this feeling every day. In reality I am a loser to myself trying to motivate myself to push through this sadness to motivate others... You are like: "Say what??"

Should I even be a motivational speaker yet when I am not at the highest of the highest when most people look up to me?? It makes me think of Tony Robbins and so many other successful people that talk about their failures so openly. I think my biggest failure is that chasing success I became completely mentally sick. I have learned that coming to a foreign US at the age of 19 all my by myself could make anyone crazy - too much pressure to comprehend the unknown in a different language!! So many doctors would tell me that I must quit this lifestyle of stress and high perfectionist standards I have set for myself. In reality I say to myself when I fail again and again: "Just one more time!!"

Here I am the next day after the event spending my morning watching videos of other people while my video work file exporting, eating cookies for breakfast and actively talking to myself in my mind. I tell myself anything and everything to push myself to try "one more time:" "I am disciplined! I am nice! I am a good person! I am loved! I am on schedule!, etc." I am not sure what you say to yourself every morning or any time. This is what I say to myself and it works!!!

I realize that the only way I can achieve anything if I train my mind. I talk a lot about it here, and I will never stop. Listen please!! I am with a clear mental disorder that I refuse to treat medically trying to push myself to succeed. If you are mentally fine, sorry, but you have no excuse, but find a way to succeed as well!!!!

Whatever works for me, may not work for you. What I do know is that by reading my stuff and even judging me at times you can find your own way. If you are reading my stuff you either want to see me fail or get inspired to do better than me - do better in your life. I hope the former, of course:) Once you are done reading, that's when the real test comes in: you either keep going or give up. I hope you will keep going!!

Like today I did a great job taking to myself and motivating myself. Once I felt like it was enough talking I watched one random motivational video twice and here I am writing. I felt like I had a brain freeze for a minute and didn't not know what to write about. But I knew in order to get out of this bad state of mine I had to write. First, because I find it therapeutic, but then because it truly makes me happy!!! And seeing you reading my stuff makes me even happier. Thank you!!

I watched the video to get inspired (or you would say "motivated") to write. Got my phone, started with my personal story as usual and here I am still writing: doing what I believe is my calling!

What do you think is the point of this post?? It's to share with you that me and so many people go through struggles every day. I am sure that there are some very strong will and minded people that may not get as pathetic as me for example. But whichever way we get down, the point is we all must always get up!! Some people make take but one sentence spoken to themselves to motivate them to do something amazing. Some people may need a whole morning of doing nothing productive, but trying their best to talk themselves to going back into their productive moments.

The truth is once you are in that good state you gain a momentum and you can't stop working. I love when this moment hits me! The way my mental health is I take advantage of my productive time to the fullest because I never know how long it will last. Sometimes I wonder if I am bipolar. That's a subject for another conversation...

Here it is: a pure honesty to help you!! I find the more honest I get, the more people get helped with my stories and that makes me so happy:) Just know that no matter what I say out here the final word to yourself is up to you!! You are the one who needs to find a way to motivate yourself and help yourself, not me. My former English teacher used to say to me: "No matter what I teach you if you don't teach yourself English, you'll never learn it!" I took this expression to heart to this day!!

Back to you: no matter what I write to you to help you: if you don't help yourself, you'll never get better. You want to do better in life?? Please find a way to help yourself or, yes, ask for help. Get inspiration or advice from others, but in the end be in charge of your actions and thoughts. You are so powerful!! What you say to yourself, what information you consume and how you take your next steps are all parts of the equation of your success. How you add these parts is up to you!! Why not add them and win big?? Dream and give back big!! Why not you??" Marina Amdream.


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© 2023 by Marina Amdream

Photography, Videography, Marketing & Speaking

PO BOX 165062

Little Rock, AR 72216

marinaamdream@gmail.com

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