"Let's talk about waiting. I think I need a professional help to get out of it... What I mean by it is that I feel like I am always in this state of waiting for something. I literally just sit and stare at the wall and wait, or I lay on the bed look at the ceiling and wait. I would go to the lake look at the distance and wait. Why am I waiting?? What do I want so bad?? Why can't I just be and do?? I am waiting for some kind of magic right now as I am writing. Does magic even exist?? I wonder...
As I am trying to understand myself and this idea of waiting, I believe that waiting comes from a habit, not being able to be in the moment and fear... I wait because I am so used to waiting: like waiting to get out of one school, then the second, then the third. I am waiting because I used to waiting for immigration documents for months. I am waiting because I am waiting for my final divorce papers to show up in the mail right now. I am waiting because I want success and money because I am struggling to pay my bills. I am just an obsessed waiter - habit of mine I must break as soon as possible...
I also wait because I am only now relearning how to be in the present moment. I honestly disappeared from the world for about 12 years. (More on that later. Continue to follow me to learn how.) Now I am learning to feel the touch, to be aware of my breathing, to hear birds singing outside (they are singing right now so beautifully), etc. Being present helps me be calm and stop waiting. Being present helps me stop worrying about not having what I want so bad. Being present, frankly, is saving my life. It can save yours.....
...I am waiting because I am afraid. I am afraid of the unknown, making a mistake and being talked about - good or bad. At times I am simply afraid of people - a newfound discovery for me. I used to be so brave. And at times I am. But after being on this Earth for some time and seeing what people are capable of, now I can be afraid.
I am waiting because I hope one day something magical will happen, and all my dreams will come true... And someone will just give me what I want for free, no obligations without asking anything in return. Oh, it would be so awesome!!! And here I have completely lost my mind! Can't you tell?? I must take off my pink glasses right this second!! Let me tell you the main point of this post now:)
What if you and me realized that dreams can't just come true by accident. If we sit, stand, walk, whatever and wait, nothing major will ever happen. We must act and the magic will be an addition to our actions, not a replacement. You want a housekeeper in your house?? Learn how to keep the house tidy first! Want to be a worldwide known model?? Take thousands and thousands of pictures of yourself. Want to have the most high end gift shop on the planet?? Learn how to make thousands of unique high quality gifts... Act first, the dreams will come later. Act now to get whatever you want in life!!
This is what I do. Yes, in the back of my mind a little girl in me waits for a miracle. But a grown woman in me says: "Get up your behind and work!!!" Even though I struggle financially right now I am not going to let it stop me from believing in my dream and taking action. This is why I am in a hole in the first place - waiting, wishing, procrastinating, comparing, being afraid, feeling sorry for myself, not believing, etc. Well, I got what I deserve. (You tell me why I am where I am today. You follow me. You know.) It's time to change, to motivate myself (and you along the way) and work harder than ever before. So far, so good:) I am proud of myself actually! What about you???
Are your proud of what you have accomplished, or you "kind of" proud?? It's time to change "kind of" proud or not proud at all to "Yes, I am the baddest bee in town. I know that! I know I am great! They just need to catch up with me!" Take that attitude with you and take action. This is what I do. What do you do?? Get up right now! Stretch your "rusty" muscles, and take the first step toward success. Stop waiting! Start doing! You are the baddest in town! Show them what you have got, brothers and sisters! Why not you??" Marina Amdream